


VMM9's review of PMC's The Wilde Mother EP

by ursa_maritima



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, critical role quotes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:54:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27016078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ursa_maritima/pseuds/ursa_maritima
Summary: i came across a list of fun quotes Taliesin Jaffe's characters have said, and went 'huh, looks kind of like the track listings for a Michael Giacchino soundtrack' and then...this happened.PMC is the band in this case (PercyMollymaukCadeuces)- some quotes from C1, others from C2.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	VMM9's review of PMC's The Wilde Mother EP

(Vi’s Musical Madness episode 9, transcribed by your friendly neighborhood nightwalker / FNN)

(musical intro begins, fades out under first few words)

Legendary- at least in certain circles, the venn diagram of which more closely resembles some eldritch symbol that unsettles the mind and soul - carnie-metal, folkpunktronica, baroque gothstep trio PMC dropped a surprise release album today. The EP contains a mix of their signature songs that until now have not been recorded. Unlike the studio songs on their debut album  _ Indifference (Your Secret Is Safe) _ and 2018's untitled album unofficially known as OwlBatBearMan, these songs are the mainstays of their 'pop up' shows, and a large portion of the band's early repertoire responsible for their long-rumbling word of mouth growth in the early days of the band. The EP is titled  _ 'The Wilde Mother' _ and the cover image is exactly what you'd expect to see if the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence had been around in Oscar Wilde's day and had also managed to travel in time to pose for The Pieta. Classic PMC album art, even if this iteration is a bit less velvet painting and a bit more neotrad tattoo flash page. 

Anyway, you're not here to listen to me wax eloquently about pretty pictures- let's get on with the summary.

_ We're Running, It's Bad _

Remember that time you forgot a project until 2154 the night before it was due? You know, the one that was at minimum a full week's worth of work? Do you still have the faint trace of two five hour energies in a cup of Turkish coffee with a shot of your roommate's hidden stash of espresso liquor burned into your tastebuds? Next time, avoid the stomach ulcers with a good set of headphones and this track. It combines the carefully designed focus of video game puzzle tracks with the aural sensation of something infinitely large and intimately hungry looming just behind your left shoulder, and thus it hooks right into your executive function and cranks it up to 11. 

_ Help, It's Again _

You didn't know cowboy bebop was a musical style and not one of the greatest anime shows, did you? Now you do. Yoko Kanno lent PMC her groove and they went and Cashed that check all the way to the Beck. Shut up, that metaphor totally makes sense. If it doesn't, listen to the song again, man. In an alternate universe this is the song playing over the end credits of The Big Lebowski.

_ Life Needs Things To Live _

Okay. Bear with me for a moment. This song- y'all don't understand what this song is, okay? This song is friggen  _ heartbreaking _ on first listen, right? Right?? You listen to it, you cry, you vow never to listen to it again because fuck you, nobody makes me feel my own feelings! And then you do listen to it  _ again _ and  _ yes _ , you cry  _ again _ , but this time it is because you are  _ actively asphyxiating from laughter _ . And then you listen to it a third time and it's somehow both feelings at once. Don't ask me how. 

(additional note from FNN- my sister's synaesthetic and she says this song is like the first time you taste proper  _ [regional or cultural or ethnic drink or food of your childhood*] _ after spending seven years in a place where everyone thinks they make it right but They Are Wrong.) 

_ I'm Flirting With Grass _

It's always the quiet ones. My roommate insists that I acknowledge that they think playing this song has made the pothos by the speaker bar grow faster. My friend, my dude, my fellow stealer-of-free-pens? That pothos was already practically Audrey III. It doesn't need help. This song sounds perfectly innocent until you're in mixed company and then it's exactly like that time your grandma asked you to clarify why the orchestral cd they bought you for christmas was called S&M. Theoretically speaking. ...about a friend. Also, it immediately took one of the top three spots on my teleskiing playlist, so you know it's got a  _ sick _ sexy beat.

_ Because I'm W E I R D _

There is literally nothing I can say about this song. It cannot be described, only experienced. Make seven friends listen to it, and you'll get eight different arguments about what the sound was like and what the lyrics were and how it made you feel. It's the mystery dum-dum flavor in soundwave form, possibly rolled in poprocks. This does not mean it is either pop or rock. In fact, if you want to strain friendships to their utmost? Make your friends try and agree on one single genre to assign to this track.

_ That's Really Great _

Look, sometimes you just need a lo-fi fix for those insomnia nights, okay? Don't judge the play count on this one. If this song were a sweater it'd be that one you stole from your ex that you will go to your grave denying you still have. Yeah... sure that relationship was B. A. D. D. bad but that is a bomb-ass sweater. You deserve it for putting up with that shit. You deserve this song, too.

_ I Cast Goddamnit _

(a brief audio clip of Bill and Ted saying 'excellent!' over a guitar scream from Bill And Ted's Excellent Adventure plays)

(another audio clip, this time from the Eric Andre Show where he says 'why would you say something so controversial yet so brave')

(R2D2 scream)

Oh, you want words for this track review? That's nice. I want to know how the  _ fuck _ they cloned a chimera of Marcus Miller and Meshell Ndegeocello for this track, and why I have never heard this live. I need answers. I need-

...I need to listen to it again, dammit. A short and sweet summary for a short and sweet EP. okay- y'all know the drill. 

(musical outro begins)

stay outta work, stay outta trouble, stay outta jail- stay hungry. 

  
  


(FNN note: the following is from VMM’s insta story a few days after the EP review podcast came out) 

_ yo _ .

It is 20-fucking-20 and these mfers put a HIDDEN TRACK on their  _ digital only _ EP that you can only get to if you burn it to a CD, with a title you can only access by looking at the cover image metadata. Who burns CDs anymore?? I mean, other than me because my rig is too ancient for an aux port but not ancient enough for a cassette deck --miss you 206, baby, your memory is a blessing-- and if I didn't have the capability to listen to  _ I Cast Goddamnit _ after certain calls there would've been bloodshed. 

but ANYWAY…

_ How Faces Get Trees _

Who is that??!! That voice!! Like  _ yes okay _ we've been dying over PMC's harmonies for  _ years _ now but like…

i'm pretty sure my first review started with 'okay which mad scientist cloned Freddie Mercury and Nina Simone and trained the resulting children with Bruce Dickenson because I owe them my life' or something like that, but this new voice??? Is...is...i'm dead, y'all. Effortless harmonizing that flirts with dissonance in all the right places, and that vocal tone that balances on the knife’s edge between Angel and Fallen Angel- this is like the first time six-year-old-you heard Jeremy Irons sing Be Prepared, or that video of that kid hugging the violinist's leg. There's you, and then there's you after hearing this song. It's got the same sort of vibe that listening to Nina Simone's Strange Fruit has, just in the opposite direction. like it lights all your nerves on fire the way the High Priestess does but in a way that's internally soothing? I'm sitting here gesturing at my setup like y'all can see me but i know you can't. but i mean it- you listen to Strange Fruit and when it ends you're feeling some complex shit that you can't name but it makes your skin itch with the need to go do something, right? This song ends and you feel a bunch of complex shit but at the same time it's like… exactly what you need in that moment. reassurance that shit's gonna work out? got it. a soothing layer of aloe over a burnt-up heart? doesn't fix the problem but makes it so you can work on it. 

Seriously, y'all: I need more of that vocalist. Whoever tracks down a name or soundcloud or something, I'll...I don't know what. Name your price, folkens. 

(transcription ends- at least until the next time VMM9 puts out a podcast! FNN out.)

**Author's Note:**

> *when i was writing this three things popped to mind:  
>  1) Chicago-style deep dish pizza. No, California, Zachary's does not count. It is normal pizza dough arranged in a deep dish configuration AND ALSO it is stuffed deep dish which, again, is not the same.   
> 2) Greek frappé (iced coffee)- there is literally ONE place in the ENTIRE BAY AREA that does it right. and now they're in fucking Hayward. I made it there once and my partner ended up cooing that I was like an adorable kid at christmas but I didn't care because souvlaki pita and metrio frappé, bitches   
>  3) my mom's blue corn cornbread with butter and honey drizzled on top. like, my mom's cornbread in general, but the blue cornmeal cooked up in the cast iron corncob forms is the best. add some christmas enchiladas? perfect.


End file.
